Conflict

Our conflict styles come in many shapes and sizes and are accompanied by productive and destructive tendencies. For teams to be great, it is highly valuable that team members become familiar with their common conflict tendencies. For example, from a productive perspective, it may be easy for you to acknowledge tough issues, encourage open dialogue, be driven to find root causes, or listen to other perspective. These are all positive conflict attributes and help teams move towards commitment. From a destructive perspective, you may have tendencies that include being insensitive towards others, overpowering others, defensive, become overly emotional, overanalyze, isolate, or let issues simmer beneath the surface. These tendencies can get in the way of constructive dialogue and result in siloing and team dysfunction. Know your common conflict tendencies!

In addition to being aware of your conflict tendencies, great team members are self-aware enough to recognize when they're in conflict and can tune into their own internal dialogue. This self-awareness is critical if you ever have a chance for finding a more effective approach. For example, in a conflict situation can you hear yourself saying, “I need to come out on top here, how dare you challenge me, you don’t care or value me, or you are showing me no respect.” This is feedback that you are caught in the ‘conflict trap’ and likely going to respond in ways that are not productive. Without this basic awareness of your internal dialogue, it is near impossible to correct it. Be self-aware enough to hear your internal dialogue!

Effective conflict management requires that we ‘reframe’ the situation and find appropriate responses for the situation. This is all possible due to our free will and ability to choose how to respond; we always have the ability to choose our perceptions, feelings, and behaviors. Many great thinkers, Rollo May, Viktor Frankl, Stephen Covey, to name a few, have referred to the space between the stimulus and response – the space where we have the power to choose our response. The space is a ‘choice-point’. This expression of our free will, in the form of choosing a response, is where growth and freedom exist. We always have the power to choose!

To change who we are, and choose new ways of being, great team members recognize their natural tendencies, automatic thoughts, and choose anew. This ‘reframing’ puts you back in control to choose a more productive path forward.

To learn more about your conflict tendencies, your internal dialogue, and ‘reframing’, contact Big Sky Way today. [email protected] or (406) 540-1321